Postpartum : A Midwife’s Guide to Survival
During pregnancy, most people focus their preparation exclusively on labor and birth…but then forget to consider the day after their baby is born. The postpartum transition is no joke. It can be like drinking water from a fire hydrant.
You are sleep deprived. You’re in physical pain from stitches or a C-section incision. Your baby is crying and breastfeeding is hard. Harder than you thought it would be. Your partner is as exhausted as you are and trying to be supportive but not in the ways you need.
No matter what it will be challenging, but there are a few key conversations and practical steps to help you be prepared to make the transition as smooth as possible.
Visitor Policy
Discuss who will help support you during postpartum recovery. Will it be your parents? Friends/other relatives? Are there certain people you will want to limit or even not allow to come visit in the immediate postpartum period? Will you require visitors to mask/vaccinate/wash their hands before seeing the baby? Can you ask your friends in advance to consider helping out with the chores or bringing some food when they come to visit?
Making time for self-care
Nearly 80% of people experience mild postpartum depression symptoms or feelings of overwhelm. This is known as the baby blues and often goes away on it’s own after a few weeks. Having a strategy to help both parents maximize sleep and rest is a key for success. In addition, discuss how each of you might help the other have personal time for self-care. Often times in the transition to parenthood, people lose themselves and dramatically set aside their needs for the baby. It helps to have some time to re-connect with yourself and bring your best self to care for your baby and partner.
Housework
Evaluate the current distribution of housework and discuss how that might shift after the baby comes. Briefly discuss who will be in charge of which chore or care task for the baby. For example, if one parent is primarily doing all the feedings, maybe the other parent can be in charge of the burping and changing. Remember, there is no right and wrong here. In reality, things are rarely exactly 50-50. What is most important is that you are able to talk openly about the division of these responsibilities and find an arrangement that meets everyone’s needs.
Relationship health
Often in the transition to parenthood, partners start to relate to one another as co-parents rather than romantic partners. Discuss ways to stay connected, even with all the responsibilities of being parents. Whether it is having a little date night each week or a relationship ‘check-in’, create opportunities to connect. Avoid letting all your conversation revolve around the baby. Remember, children will benefit from seeing their parents in a healthy, loving relationship, even if that means a little bit of time away from them.
Namu Birth Services offers one-on-one childbirth education and birth prep rooted in clinical expertise and tailored guidance. During our sessions together, we can develop a ‘postpartum survival plan’ that is tailored to your unique family dynamics.
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